do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
