I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
