sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
