Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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