I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
