chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She just used a chaser for red wine.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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