On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
