hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
