I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
