508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
