Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize