Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
