Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
