Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize