But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
