the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
