I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
