All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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