I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize