There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize