I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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