similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
