Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
