You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
