why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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