there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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