i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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