I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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