i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
