yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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