my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
