Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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