id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
