Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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