Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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