Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You know, be my cock's hype man.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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