i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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