I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
