Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
