Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
