When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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