I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize