She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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