mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
