whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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