Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
