is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
