Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was born a porn star she said
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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