So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
