why didn't you poke me back
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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