we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
