I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
