a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
