Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
