Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Houston, we have a blender
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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