Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize