i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
