I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize