I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
