i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
tonight lets celebrate not being married
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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