Kiss
Puke
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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