guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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