So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wear drunk well.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
