she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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