Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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