we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
